Sunday, December 04, 2005

In need of a savior

But the angel said to them,"Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. Luke 2:10-11

Yay for Athens Church today. They were showing Andy Stanley's "Choosing Christmas" series today and it was pretty much amazing. He used this verse in Luke to talk about how the only way that we are going to connect our knowledge of Jesus from our head to our heart is when we realize that He was sent for the purpose of rescuing us. When we reach the point where we say "It is in your hands, there is absolutely nothing else I can do". He used an example where he was sitting at a stop light at a big intersection when he saw a woman in a fancy car on the other side of the road with her engine on fire. Another man noticed too and got out of his car, ran across the road and tried knocking on her window to let her know what was wrong. But the woman thought he was trying to hijack her car so she was frantically trying to lock the doors and get away. When she pushed the gas, the car went about 2 feet and stopped, smoke billowing out of the engine. Then she realized that the man was trying to save her, and she allowed him to help. Sometimes that is how we act with Jesus. He is standing there on the sidelines waiting patiently for us, but most of the time we just ignore him or wonder why we need him to come into our lives and shift everything around. We don't really understand the big hype about Jesus when we feel like we're doing alright on our own. But the point of the Christmas story is to celebrate the birth of our Savior, not just our helper, or our King. The one who pulls you out of the pit. The one whose purpose is to rescue the whole world. Of course I'm missing a lot, I'm not Andy Stanley, but you get the gist. He also shared a quote from Rick Warren that really hit home with me. I can't remember it exactly but it was talking about how we don't need Jesus if we're going to die tonight, we need Him so that we can live through tomorrow.
This is what I'm learning right now. I guess I never really thought of myself as a very controlling person, but when it comes to trusting God each and every day to provide and show me where to go, I pretty much suck. When things start going my way, I tend to say "well thanks, God, but you can just leave me here, I've had enough, I don't want to be stretched any further." But of course that's not how it works. Right now there are so many possibilities and unknowns ahead of me that I am anxious to see how everything works out.
On a lighter note, I am really starting to get excited about Christmas! I think Christmas this year is going to be really special and different, because of how much my life has changed this semester. The thought of being in a house with a fire, and the smell of the tree when I walk down the stairs, sleeping in my own bed, and spending more than a few rushed hours with my best friends really excites me! Add in passion and the first conversation of the phoenix project and I'm pretty much giddy.

Monday, November 28, 2005

The Space Between

Well, Thanksgiving Break is over and now I just have to get through 2 more weeks of class and finals! I am feeling a little overwhelmed right now because I have caboodles of work to do, but of course I don't feel like doing it. But enough complaining. Here are my thanksgiving highlights:
  • Harry Potter with my English class
  • Stopping by the basketball game on the way home to discover half of my class there! They will never get rid of us.
  • Beth's jewelry party-filled with tears and laughter thanks to the modeling skills of Ben, Jake, David and Logan
  • The CP band playing my favorite song in big church!
  • Girls Nite @ the Brown's w/ a little visit to Best Buy to see Josh and all of the Xbox nerds with their tents in the freezing cold rain
  • Fireside talks
  • Me and Kelly wanting to fix things
  • Making Christmas ornaments with Anna
  • Another HCA basketball game- I miss those! It's kind of sad when there are more graduated people there than people who actually go to the school!
  • Food, food and more food @ thanksgiving with the Solms!
  • Mom's nickname on her placecard- "Angela 3 Plates Brannen"
  • Our homemade catch phrase game and Casey's impossible words
  • Seeing my adorable cousins Jack and Cole
  • Cardancing with Dave

I just read an excerpt of Velvet Elvis courtesy of Josh and it was very helpful in my constant search for clarity. We have to remember that the Gospel is good news, not just for us but for everyone. I will have to think about this more, and add this book to my growing list!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

This song, written by my extremely talented friend Adam Courtney has meant a lot to me lately. I don't know all the words, but here is the chorus.

How It's Supposed to Be
So, tell me how it's supposed to be
I try it my way but I just keep falling down
You see past the things that try to cloud my view
So will you be the voice inside that tells me how to make it through
I can depend on you
To hear this song, go to www.myspace.com/theless . Haha, I didn't mean to make my blog an ad for The Less, but oh well!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

So much has happened since the last time that I wrote, but I will try and condense as much as possible. My head is spinning with so many different emotions that I don't even know where to begin. It amazes me how I can go from utter joy to sadness, to thankfulness, and back to absolute confusion all in a matter of minutes. Over fall break, I went with the BSU to Pascagoula, Mississippi to do hurricane relief work. It was an amazing experience, but throughout it I was kind of numb for some reason. I have never really experienced any kind of natural disaster, at least not that I can remember, so it was an eye-opening trip. The city where we were staying did not look that bad just driving through, because most of the houses were still standing and most of the restaurants and stores were up and running. However, many of the houses had to be totally gutted because the water level was so high.
The first day of work, I didn't do "mud-out", but went to work on a feeding unit with the Georgia Baptist people and the Red Cross. The whole operation was pretty impressive because they were cooking lunch and dinner for about 8500 people and delivering throughout the area. We started working about 6 am cooking beef stew for lunch. It was pretty funny actually, because there were 5 college students with about 20 Georgia Baptist Disaster Relief people with the average age of about 65. Most of them were retired and had come down to help out several times already, working for weeks at a time. They were so funny talking to us and telling us about all the different disasters they had worked at and singing old hymns to pass the time. Of course they didn't know any David Crowder or Chris Tomlin stuff, so it was interesting to find any music that we had in common. The best we could come up with was Amazing Grace, random little kid Bible songs, and finally resorting to Christmas songs including Jingle Bells. I'm sure that I was a pretty funny sight stirring mass quantities of beef stew in a big cauldron looking pot. I had to stand on a stepstool with a stirrer that looked like a canoe paddle using all of my strength just to make it around the pot once! My arms were really sore when it was finally done and I don't know if I'll ever be able to eat beef stew again. Around 9 am, we started cooking dinner- bbq chicken. We dumped about 75 cans of greasy chicken into big vats and stirred it all up. I have never seen so much chicken in my life nor do I ever want to again. Then we packed up all of the food into these things called cambros that keep the food warm for like ever. Weird. 25 Red Cross vans picked up all the food and took it out. We took a break for lunch and had the option of eating the food that we fixed, but most of us opted for the pb & j. Lunch was fun because we got to listen to all of the old people's stories. It made me kind of sad, because it reminded me of Gammy who used to tell us stories for hours at a time. At the time, I was irritated when she started the stories that we had all heard about 100 times, but now that she's gone I appreciate it. The old man that we started calling Johnny Cash because he was dressed in all black kept us entertained for the afternoon. We spent the rest of the day cleaning/ pressure washing all of the tools and ovens. By the time we were finished, we were all so tired that we could have gone to sleep at 6 pm and slept through the night.
The second day, we worked on Miss Magdy's house. She was a Hispanic woman, probably in her late 50's who had been living in a tent for the past 2 months. She was a very interesting lady who had 6 pet poodles all decked out with sweaters and a pet goose. It was so sad to mud out her house, because it didn't look all that bad. Putting nostalgia aside, it was pretty fun to swing a hammer or a crow bar at the wall as hard as I could- good stress relief. The mold on the walls and in the installation was pretty disgusting. Some of the installation was still soaking wet after all that time. By the time we were finished the house looked like it was under construction. The boys chasing the goose and getting bit by the goose was one of the funniest moments of the trip.
The third day our team went to Waveland, Mississippi to help the Underwood family clean out their yard. They had moved to Waveland 3 weeks before the hurricane hit from Snellville and had just gotten all settled in when they were evacuated. They showed us the before and after pictures and it was so sad. They said that everything was floating in a pile of mud in the house when they got back. They had already cleared everything out of the house and into the yard when we got there, so we were just hauling all of it to the street. It was so sad to find broken picture frames, old prom dresses, etc buried under piles of moldy sheetrock and pinestraw. They had a fence in the yard from 4 houses down the street. It was horrible, but they were so inspiring because they just kept saying how blessed they were. After we were finished, we drove down by the beach and saw where all of the houses were just piles of trash with nothing left standing. We didn't really know what to say, but it definitely showed how fleeting our material possessions are. When we got back to Pascagoula, we all sat around the tables in a big circle telling about our day and what God had done. It was really cool to hear about everybody's different experiences and how humbling the trip was. It was a long drive back to Athens, but we had fun listening to Backstreet Boys on the bus! I have never been so tired in my entire life- my scrawny arms aren't used to manual labor!

Monday was a crazy day, but it ended perfectly with the David Crowder concert. It was so good to see so many of my favorite people in the world, but it went by way too fast. The David Crowder part was amazing. There are no words to describe the feeling of worshipping God "in the company of all who love the King". God's presence was there. I thought it was really cool how David Crowder talked about giving God the glory even in times of pain and sorrow with the death of his pastor. The bluegrass part was really fun too- Ben doing his little dance with his hood on made me laugh.
The rest of the week was kind of dull in comparison, but I should probably start studying one of these days! I told Kelly that I really wanted a kitchen counter in my dorm room to study at; kind of random but at that moment all I wanted was a kitchen counter!

This weekend was very eventful. I got to see my cousin Julie for the first time in months and it was so good to see her and catch up. Friday night we celebrated Aunt Peg's 84th birthday and it made my day to hear Uncle Bill tell the story of how they met and fell in love. Old people are so cute! We went on a little "hike" on Saturday at Chateau Elan, but it wasn't very hardcore. Mom's Star Wars trail mix was interesting though. I freaked out at the mall about having to buy new jeans.. I will not gain the freshman 15! I interrupted the boy's poker night @ the Brown household and went through a very long secret voting process to decide on whether or not they wanted to play putt-putt with us. The reasons were amusing. We ended up staying and making s'mores on the patio and of course running to Wendy's to get 5 more cups for Josh's collection. Ben was the champion of Egyptian Ratscrew, but I was a very close 2nd. Taping for the Cross Pointe video on Sunday just reminded me how blessed I am to have been a part of youth and small group @ CP. There was much needed girl talk. Life is confusing, but at least I have incredible people there for me to catch me when I fall. And this is officially really long, considering I started it a week ago! Off to study for psychology... yippee.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Wedding Weekend

I had a fantastic weekend thanks to Anna and Josh's wedding. Some of the highlights were:

  • Road trip with Adam, Steph and Kel- started off with adam's call to steph: "Wake up, it's 8:30 eastern standard time!" And we got stuck behind a house.
  • We definitely would not have made it without family force 5- the theme music of the weekend. And Adam singing in his obnoxious but hilarious loud voice made me laugh really hard.
  • We were so hungry we seriously considered stopping at ed's truck stop- luckily we found a mcdonald's, where adam jumped when he saw the incredibly scary mountain man looming over him.
  • We made it all the way to jekyll without any major problems, until I totally zoned out and went over a big bridge. "Ashley, turn right, turn right!! I can't, I can't ... the old people are too slow!"
  • We even got lost on the way to the rehearsal dinner, all because I didn't listen to adam. I mean come on, it's biblical.
  • The rehearsal dinner was so sweet- the tears definitely started falling when Anna's dad spoke and more when Josh spoke. And it definitely wasn't trite.
  • Josh in his miami vice outfit... interesting.
  • Girl talk skipping down the beach... good times.
  • Hearing the boys say "Sar-casm!" about 100 times
  • Steph and Kelly shooting out of bed: "Anna and Josh are getting married today!"
  • Seeing Anna looking absolutely gorgeous in her dress and Josh in his seersucker suit
  • Beth looking beautiful and worrying about falling in the dip
  • Jake- the camera man (enough said)
  • Sitting in our special seats!
  • Watching Anna get out of her carriage and walk down the aisle
  • Anna and Josh's beautiful vows to God and each other- (I want to write my own vows now!)
  • The sweetest, most real wedding I have ever been a part of!
  • Josh's Mr. T cake!!
  • Burning ourselves with sparklers as Anna & Josh ran through
  • Dancing to Family Force 5 after they left with BJ- shake it like an earthquake!!
  • Me, Steph and Kel dancing, spinning and skipping on the beach while Adam played guitar
  • Sitting in the sand, looking at the stars while Adam played and sang all of our favorite songs
  • Chris trying to play adam's left-handed guitar... interesting
  • David Crowder full blast, windows down, singing at the top of our lungs- we were so excited that I drove right past the hotel!!
  • Throwing rolos
  • Driving home was definitely not as exciting as the way down- we couldn't believe that it was over :(
  • Eating @ Wendy's with all my cp boys- I miss them so much!
  • Going back to school yesterday morning was definitely depressing. I'm sunburnt and covered in bug bites, but I don't care.
  • I can't wait to hang out @ the Brown residence with my favorite newlyweds!

Monday, October 10, 2005

I love driving to and from Athens every couple weeks because it gives me time to think and listen to a whole cd and sing as loud as I want. Right now my favorites are the new David Crowder and Switchfoot cds.
I absolutely love this quote: "When our depravity meets His divinity it is a beautiful collison."
I also really like the foreverandever song because it is the happiest praise song I have ever heard and it makes me smile!

Love so incredible to know, it's never gonna go. Love too impossible and true for anyone but You, for anyone but You. I think I'm on the brink of something large. Maybe like the breaking of a dawn. Or maybe like a match being lit, or the sinking of a ship, letting go gives a better grip. I'm finding everything I'll ever need by giving up, gaining everything. Falling for You for eternity, right here at Your feet, where I want to be. I am Yours. Love so indelible to know You're never gonna go, you're never gonna go. Love too unthinkable and true for anyone but You, for anyone but You. Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and...

Sunday, October 09, 2005

So I finally gave in and got a blog. I have been reading Anna's, Josh's and Beth's for a long time now and I figured that I should probably start one. Right now I am procrastinating writing my 6 page Harry Potter essay that is due next Monday. I really need to write it because I know I will get absolutely no work done this weekend because of the Cook/Brown wedding extravaganza. I had a very good weekend at home. I decided that I don't have to feel guilty about coming home if I want to, because its just going to take a while for uga to feel like home. I really do like it now and I'm having fun meeting new people and being on my own, but it does feel good to just relax and be myself around the people I love. The feeling of being able to talk about anything or laugh at some stupid story is one of complete security and is probably what I miss the most. My friends at school don't know me well enough to make fun of me, which is actually something I miss! Sitting around the dinner table tonight with David and Jake eating steak was probably the hardest I have laughed in a long, long time. I want to take them back to school with me for entertainment.
Totally changing the subject, Kelly and I decided that we are most definitely going to go on a mission trip out of the country in the near future. We had a speaker from Moldova come to BSU on Tuesday and the way that he talked about his faith was so authentic and refreshing, because it was for real. He told us about getting kicked out of his house for being baptized and ripping out books of the Bible and sharing them between families. He actually had a Bible that he sewed back together himself from all of the books that had been spread around because there was only one Bible for the entire church. He talked about living in a communist country where he was payed $2 a month and did not even have enough food for his baby boy. He prayed that God would provide and a woman showed up on his doorstep with food a few hours later. Just from the way he spoke, you could tell that he relied on God for literally every aspect of his life and in turn was so incredibly grateful for God's blessings. I want my faith to look like that. I know that living in America is a blessing because all of our needs are provided, but sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to need God just to survive. He also talked about the worth of your faith being what it cost you. Does my faith really cost me all that much? I don't know.
Ths is totally changing the subject, but Steph and I were talking today about what Josh has been talking about a lot recently with the idea of God restoring the earth and allowing us to play a tiny role in the restoration. It all makes sense to me when I think about heaven as earth restored, not some glowing city in the sky. For a while there, I was kind of confused, because everyone always talked about living for heaven or "getting to the party". When I think about Jesus dying for the sole purpose of my individual salvation, I agree with Josh that something is missing. It's more than just a free ticket on "the boat" that takes you to somewhere totally disconnected from anything to do with earth. Jesus came to set things straight and turn our upside-down sin infested earth rightside up again. That's the beauty of it. I really want to study this more, because I don't really know what I'm talking about, but it makes perfect sense to me. I am getting way past the rambling point, so I better go to sleep.